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Attitude of Gratitude, We Are No Longer Victims

Step 10: We Are No Longer Victims

Every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did. 

Someone once said that life was a lot like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as we go along.

While the goal of doing the 12 Steps is to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness, acceptance and love, it should also be our objective to accept reality and hold people accountable for their behavior. Additionally, we should also hold ourselves accountable for our own behavior while at the same time have compassion and understanding for ourselves.

The Point Is: By Working These Steps We Are No Longer Victims or Victimizers.

When we now proclaim powerlessness, we are not claiming irresponsibility. We merely stating that we have no power to control others, what they do, what they did, or what they might do. We’re stating that we are now willing to end an ineffective life based on prideful willpower and the need to control. And we’re beginning a spiritual, mental, and emotional journey in which we take responsibility for ourselves each and every day.

This phase of development is about learning more about who we really are and how we fit into the world by reviewing our character assets and liabilities at a deeper level than ever before. Observing patterns in your behavior and challenging what is perceived as normal. Studying human nature and seeing how it applies to yourself. And repeatedly testing new ideas.

As you practice this Step, over time you will agree to living in a way that is beneficial for yourself, and for others too. You may not grow to love everyone but you will no longer want to harm anyone. Including yourself.

 

A Attitude of Gratitude New Found Awareness

Step 12: New Found Awareness

(Below is a vision that I wrote out years ago. It’s being shared because it has come true for me and I believe that some of these changes can happen for you too.)

And Then One Day: You realize that it’s time to stop hoping, dreaming and waiting for something to change. You realize that you, and only you, are responsible for the quality of your life. You come to terms with the fact that there are no guarantees and seemly without provocation, a sense of serenity is born out of this acceptance.

You become aware to the basic fact that you are not perfect (because no one is) and you learn to admit when you are wrong. You understand that it’s not important that everyone adore, appreciate or even approve of who or what you are. It’s not needed because you know in both head and heart that everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions.

This new found awareness reveals itself typically when you notice that there is no need for blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can ever really expect is the unexpected. And you are not just ok with this uncertainty, you welcome it because it is living with a Divine Expectation. This way of living is evidence of The Holy Spirit’s guidance and you allowing for it. It’s a cooperation with God for no other reason than an agreement with him.

You accept that people only do what is important to them and will never do anything they don’t really want to do. And if something offensive happens, it’s not always about you. You stop judging and look more at similarities than differences. You begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their character defects.

You realize that much of the way you viewed yourself, and the world around you, is the result of false beliefs that have been deeply imbedded into your subconscious. You begin to sort through how you have been taught how you should act, how you should look, and what you owe your family and friends. These illusions fall away and your self worth is no longer dependent on what others think. What people think of you is really none of your business; what God thinks about you is now your only business.

You open up to different points of view and you value what others think, even when its a different view point. Now, you don’t have to agree with someone to appreciate them.

As time passes, you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn that you don’t have to know everything, that it’s not your job to save the world or anyone in it. This does not mean you don’t care; just the opposite. You just now have a detached compassion for others. Through personal experience, you learn about unconditional love and when to leave well enough alone. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people and outcomes. You also learn that no one can do life alone. You give and receive help without any strings attached. It’s no longer about results, about what happens, but how you conduct yourself. Grace under pressure describes your responses to unforeseen events. But when you pause and realize that God has been present throughout the trial, helping and guiding, you are grateful and await to recognize this prescience again. It is glorious, refreshing, reassuring, and you want more. This is Divine Expectation!

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things do happen to good people. You learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening as it does for everyone. You can live life on life’s terms and be happy when things don’t go your way. Selfishness and self-centeredness have slipped away.

You make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your personal bliss because that is just another way of speaking of God Consciousness. With courage, wisdom, strength and self-discipline you begin to experience the life you want to live, as best you can, one day at a time.

You look forward and are hopeful. You look back and you are grateful. You look around and do your best to be useful. You are now closer to being the person you were created to be than ever before.

This is what I call my Gift.